Bottle It Up

[apassingafternoon]

Kaine didn't see Nariko after she returned to the palace. There would have been something oddly poignant about sharing the entire experience, speaking a bit frankly about it, but Kaine wanted to hold it to herself for a little while longer. In the end that was for the best. Sekht and Fyra's wedding was held in the morning and they all stood for it and then danced for it. Everything should have been goddamn peachy. There was no more pressure or tension in her general atmosphere, just the understandable, acceptable level of regret and acceptance. Kaine could deal with that.

What she couldn't fucking deal with was Nariko. Oh, sure, she smiled and clapped and when Sekht playfully asked her for a dance but every warning sign in the book was on full display. Her smile was hollow, her polite manner far too restrained. The natural ease that she'd found with Roland was nowhere to be found, in fact she seemed far too content with pretending he wasn't even anywhere near her. And maybe the obnoxious sleeves of her shirt - it was fucking insane that anyone could be unaffected by this heat - hid her left hand but Kaine saw the black chord around her neck and in that voiceless, deep way she had always possessed when it came to Nariko, Kaine knew that the other woman's wedding ring was hiding underneath her clothes.

This was some bullshit and Kaine, free of her nervousness and caution, was real fucking tired of pussyfooting around here.

So the wedding party continued but Kaine wasn't around to enjoy the latter half of it. She had dragged Nariko off and then returned alone.

Livid didn't begin to describe how she felt. But she made her way over to Bert anyway, jaw clenched tight and her arms folded even tighter.

"I need you to do something for me."

Comments

[askthelookout]

Bert had been enjoying himself a fair amount, learning dance moves off some rather genial locals and teaching some of Gilead's dances in return. When he saw Kaine heading towards him, he was busily gyrating in Alain's direction, laughing and flushed. His laughter died on his lips, though, when he saw her expression, and although he smiled and joked as he excused himself from the little group he'd gathered around him, his smile was gone as soon as he came to meet her.

"You'll have to be more specific," he said, with a little shrug. "What is it?"

[apassingafternoon]

She went to find Roland.

Sure, Kaine stopped a few times to make herself breathe, to dedicate herself towards a level of composure. She wouldn't prove Nariko right this time nor would she mess up what she had with Bert because of one stupid, irritating, ridiculous, emotionally constipated dumbass - No, see, this was what she needed to avoid! Kaine had to be reasonable even if it hurt, even though her worry felt as if it might drown her. If that didn't do the trick then her disappointment would finish things. For as difficult as Roland was she'd had faith in them, in him, but obviously that had been a bad decision.

She held onto the pain of it instead of the anger so that when she tracked him down, ignoring Susan if she had to, it was easy to speak clearly and firmly. "We need to talk this instant."

Lucky for Roland it wouldn't be a difficult talk or a particularly long one. There was no more room for his fumbling around, and Kaine was nowhere near as patient and understanding as her elder other half. Now he was just going to have to shut the fuck up and obey.