Bottle It Up

[apassingafternoon]

Kaine didn't see Nariko after she returned to the palace. There would have been something oddly poignant about sharing the entire experience, speaking a bit frankly about it, but Kaine wanted to hold it to herself for a little while longer. In the end that was for the best. Sekht and Fyra's wedding was held in the morning and they all stood for it and then danced for it. Everything should have been goddamn peachy. There was no more pressure or tension in her general atmosphere, just the understandable, acceptable level of regret and acceptance. Kaine could deal with that.

What she couldn't fucking deal with was Nariko. Oh, sure, she smiled and clapped and when Sekht playfully asked her for a dance but every warning sign in the book was on full display. Her smile was hollow, her polite manner far too restrained. The natural ease that she'd found with Roland was nowhere to be found, in fact she seemed far too content with pretending he wasn't even anywhere near her. And maybe the obnoxious sleeves of her shirt - it was fucking insane that anyone could be unaffected by this heat - hid her left hand but Kaine saw the black chord around her neck and in that voiceless, deep way she had always possessed when it came to Nariko, Kaine knew that the other woman's wedding ring was hiding underneath her clothes.

This was some bullshit and Kaine, free of her nervousness and caution, was real fucking tired of pussyfooting around here.

So the wedding party continued but Kaine wasn't around to enjoy the latter half of it. She had dragged Nariko off and then returned alone.

Livid didn't begin to describe how she felt. But she made her way over to Bert anyway, jaw clenched tight and her arms folded even tighter.

"I need you to do something for me."

Comments

[askthelookout]

"Because what she is to him is totally different." Bert shrugged. "He loves the both of you as men love women. He loves me and Al as tet-mates and sworn brothers, fucking notwithstanding."

Oops.

[gunslingerqueen]

There went whatever very little positivity she'd been feeling! Her mouth opened and then clamped shut with an audible snap of her teeth. It nearly pained her to talk but sitting here and drowning in her thoughts wasn't really for the best.

"No wonder." No fucking wonder. She muttered something in her mother tongue, and bent forward to put her face in her hands until she could trust her voice to remain even. "Were you fucking after he and I were married?" Of course there was a chance he might not tell her the truth for fear of making things worse but she could at least try. If Bert lied then Nariko wasn't above trying Alain, even if she was already in the gutter to him.

[askthelookout]

"...Oh, fuck." Bert literally facepalmed, slapping his forehead so hard that Sonia leapt, startled, out of his lap. "He still didn't fucking tell you? I am going to kill that man!" Growling irritably, he ran both hands back through his hair and looked at her with some concern. "Of course we weren't fucking after you were married. I'm an asshole, but I'm not that much of an asshole. Plus, he doesn't fuck us when he's got someone else." Bitter? Who was bitter? "Alain'll tell you the same. We're not competition. Never have been. Never will."

[gunslingerqueen]

"That's not how I see it." She pulled her hands away and took another deep breathe. At least they hadn't been involved after that but surely Roland knew how Bert felt. This was - it was all so fucked up. "Well I guess it's a good thing I didn't know about this or we wouldn't be married at all. It's not even vaguely fair to you and Alain." And even if Bert did hate her Nariko couldn't not take his feelings into consideration. Or at least try to.

Nariko picked up Sona and tried to calm her down, her expression a pathetic attempt to look calm. "The only vague upside here is that he probably hasn't wanted to talk to me, so there is that."

[askthelookout]

Bert raised his eyebrows, genuinely taken aback. "Not fair? Well, no. It was never gonna be fair. He was always going to have to marry someone, and he's Roland, he was always going to play the noble gentleman over it." Cautiously, he reached out to touch her arm. "I cry your pardon, Nariko, truly. I assumed you knew. I was only fooling."

[gunslingerqueen]

"It's fine, I know you didn't mean it that way." But that didn't actually make anything fine. She tried to give him a smile but it was nowhere near her usual bright wattage. "I got upset with her for suggesting it, but ..." Maybe Kaine was right. Maybe it really would be better to stay wth Sekht and Wei.

Well, she couldn't let that get to her. Nariko lifted Sonia up to give her a little kiss before handing her to Bert. "Keep her until tomorrow. Just because I can't fuck doesn't mean I can't fight someone." Ans that would at least help her feel better.

[askthelookout]

Bert nodded, looking rather guilty as he took the kitten. "I guess I can't get you to go and fight Roland, can I? It might do you both some good." Then, in a lighter tone, "Or you could fight Susan! It would be cathartic, and let's be honest, you could probably sell tickets!"

Once it was out of his mouth, he immediately regretted that callous humour, and it was obvious in the twist of his mouth. "Cry pardon," he said again, and sighed. "Don't get hurt, okay? Try not to kill anyone."

[gunslingerqueen]

"The last time he and I fought we didn't talk for a month." And Narilo had been an absolute wreck over it. "He can stay with his ever-perfect Susan. Why interrupt him?" It wouldn't do any good, they'd probably only irriatate each other even more.

"Tell Kaine I appreciate the cat," She leaned over slightly to give him the smallest peck on the cheek before standing to smooth out her dress. "Thank you, Bert." Because if nothing else he had told her the truth and that did count for something to her. That he did that despite possibly hating her also meant he was as good as she thought he was. He just also kind of happened to be a dick every so often.

"I'll try to avoid stumbling into her bed but if I do just push me on the floor, okay? I'll see you later."

But not before some drinking and, yes, fighting. She was remarkably good at starting them and even better at finishing them so long as Roland wasn't involved!

[askthelookout]

"And destroy her threesome dreams?" Bert pulled a face of comic horror. "I could never!" But his smile, for all that, was really rather gentle. He stood up with her, cradling the kitten in his arms and scratching it between the ears. "Listen. Nariko. I love him. Ever have, and ever will. But he's being an ass, even more than I am. Don't let him get to you. I'm not joking, it's not worth it, even if he is."

As if he didn't let Roland get under his skin more often than she ever did.

[gunslingerqueen]

She paused and considered the unreasonable request he seemed to be making here. The problem was that Roland was already getting to her, the problem was that she loved him, there might not ever be such a thing as not letting him get to her. But of all things she smiled, and just nodded. Bert was really trying to help her this time and it was kind of him.

"I know you're right, we'll just have to see what I can manage, I guess." It wasn't going to be much. She'd be a mess and get fucked up one side and down the other and maybe it would all be easier and clearer tomorrow. Maybe. She reached over to give Sonia one last pet from the back of her neck to the base of her tail. "Go break it to your girlfriend that her dreams have been dead in the water. If you like, you can even tell her i'm not upset with her anymore."

So she didn't have to send Bert around to do all the heavy lifting. But with just that left between them Nariko went on her way, and Bert would too when he was ready.