Fu re ru

[apassingafternoon]

Alain was having none of their shit and that was just by the mere virtue of being completely and utterly out of it. Kaine had thought it would be alright to use an extra drop or two but ... Well, it was that or his own exhaustion that kept him out of it. For as much as Kaine wanted to lie around and ignore everyone, tend to her house and hardly the people inside of it Nariko had a point. They were to rest for a week before moving on. The quicker they dealt with the out of the way errands the sooner she could sit in her room for as long as Nariko would allow before inevitably dragging her back out.

Which explained why they were on the road to The Village, or Arpagio as it was now known. The name changed was ridiculous (Aelious must have somehow gotten his way) but Kaine accepted it with a shrug. The journey was a boring one for her, she stuck to Nariko's side a bit tighter, more anxiously than usual but otherwise kept her words to a minimum. She didn't feel like talking, didn't even feel like going anywhere near town and the last thing she wanted was to even heart Cuthbert's voice, which she had already spent the morning blocking out. And yet he somehow felt well enough to come along. Fantastic.

The doors pushed open in their rhythmic fashion and her first question of the day was directed at Roland even though she didn't bother with looking over at him.

"What are we here for again?" They had barely taken two steps in and she was already quite tired of everything, and it showed in her voice, and the fold of her arms over her stomach. If her oversized sweater and skinny jeans didn't make that just as clear then nothing else would.

Comments

[apassingafternoon]

"I believe we've an arrangement, then! I'll make sure to wait for you while everyone else is getting ready for dinner." And that was how it would work. It wasn't his place to worry about how Roland would get away from his wife, he had that job all to himself, and Wei had faith in him.

Before Tyler could encroach on her space anymore, as he did intend to do, Bert slid himself right into the situation. Kaine nearly jumped out of her skin as he spoke, her head practically snapped up to look at him, and the terrified look in her eyes faded by a shade, and then two. Why was he ...?

Unburdened by past events Tyler's brows furrowed, "It means 'no'" He said it as if Cuthbert really needed it to be clarified, his brain failed to catch the intricacies quickly enough and he flushed brightly. "I was just making sure!" It was a feeble defense against a far stronger, worldlier man, and it showed rather clearly. "What does it matter to you anyway?"

[askthelookout]

Roland nodded, and turned away to examine some of Wei's wares. It was only then that he noticed Kaine and Bert, and kept half an eye on the situation as he browsed. It wouldn't be the first time that Bert had done something stupid while emotional, after all.

In fact, Bert just shrugged one shoulder. "You mean besides a general dislike of kids who feel like their half-dropped balls give them a right to a lady's time and space? Ah, not much." He waved a hand dismissively, rolling his eyes. "Word to the wise, cully, if she decides to waste her time on some skinny streak of nothing, I'm sure you don't actually have to be standing on her toes to hear about it. Unless you're deaf. You're not deaf, are you?" Then, cupping his hands around his mouth, he added in a louder voice, "I said, are... you... deaf?"

[apassingafternoon]

If there was one thing that Cuthbert Allgood was especially talented at then it was certainly making people feel like shit. Kaine had thought that maybe she was some horrid exception. She knew that she was a bit too sensitive just as she was often too callous about certain matters, but even she hadn't flushed to the point of transforming her face into a tomato when Bert had hurt her feelings. Tyler was exponentially worse off, shaking more with embarrassment than worthwhile fury.

Was this something she needed to stop? Was he going too far? It finally occurred to Kaine to look at Roland for help but ... He wasn't doing anything and not for lack of paying attention. Surely that meant everything was fine, right?

"Fuck you!" Was the indignant, clearly eloquent reply. "She's just a dumbass bitch, I don't see any women around here worth being such an ass about!"

"Can I at least have a pot pie for every time I get called a bitch?" It wasn't even particularly upsetting, this level of repetition was just irritating. "Bert - Come on, he's a douchebag-"

"I'm the douchebag?" Tyler had some strange ability to look affronted. "You could have just said he was your boyfriend!"

"Oh, believe me, that's the absolute last thing I am to anyone." Calling her a bitch didn't hurt but reminding Kaine that both of her romantic pursuits had not just ended, but crashed and burned painfully? That hurt.

[askthelookout]

"Damn right. She's got better taste than that." Bert smiled, or at least showed his teeth, and winked at Tyler. "And by the way, it's my experience that calling women dumbass bitches isn't the best way to get them to reconsider your oh-so-tempting offer. Consider that free advice for your trouble. Better luck next time." He didn't quite shoo Tyler away, but he might as well have done. The same amount of condescension oozed off him.

And with that, he turned away, giving Kaine a smile and a shrug that might almost have been apologetic, and headed back to Wei's stall, hands finding their way back into his pockets.

[apassingafternoon]

"Right, because as the other man who said nearly the same thing you have all the right to talk about that." For such an inherently confrontational set of words, said loud enough for him to hear even as he walked elsewhere, Kaine didn't sound angry. In a sense she wasn't. For whatever reason Bert had helped her and quite literally saved her, she wasn't at all ungrateful but there was a level of hypocrisy going on here.

It did, however, force Tyler to stomp off, furious and the definition of humiliated, so Kaine could finally suck in a deep breathe, an attempt to right herself. The line was now gone and there was one very confused Mr. Alamone staring at them. She wiped her palms on her jeans and worked up a nervous, uncertain smile.

"What happened?" Because no one would convince Nariko that there hadn't been an event. Kaine was red around the neck, and she had caught the very tail end of that whole discussion.

[askthelookout]

It wasn't just Kaine. Cuthbert's skin was darker, and the blush didn't show up as starkly, but he was still clearly flushed, and her words seemed to catch him in the back like an arrow; he drew himself up sharply, not quite gasping but inhaling rather sharply all the same, and tensed visibly. Well. That let a few things fall into place, even for someone as thick-skulled as he felt at the moment.

Letting out a long, hissing breath between his teeth, he shook it off for the moment, and headed back to dig through the clothes he'd been examining before. That left Roland to come up to Nariko, giving her a little shrug.

"Bert blew off some steam at some boy who made a move on Kaine," he explained succinctly. "Good to know his tongue's as sharp as ever, I guess. Kaine, you alright?"

[apassingafternoon]

You know, for as lacking in imagination as Roland could be at times Nariko found herself far more grateful for that trait more and more often. He just laid it all out there, and she knew that there really wasn't anything else worth concerning herself over, aside from the basics. If that was the case Roland would have told her. "Oh. Good to know." And that was the extent of her answer for the moment.

Kaine managed to get the entire list of groceries to Mr. Alamone, an elderly fellow who looked at them all quite doubtfully.

"No." But she had to be. She had a job to do so even if she wasn't alright it didn't change a single thing. The quicker they finished the quicker they could go back home and she could sleep for the next eighty-five years, away from all men and stupid feelings and embarrassing, public spectacles.

Nariko muttered, speaking only to Roland, and hopefully far off enough from Bert. "When did we have children, Roland? Because this feels an awful lot like having children." Granted they were children whose problems might be more easily solved if they stopped being idiots and kissed so ... Maybe that wasn't the best analogy. Oh well. Nariko pushed her hair out of her face, "I think once we've gotten our groceries we should have lunch near the bridge, outside. She'll feel better with some space."

[toweredingly]

There was, for a moment, a twitch of amusement around Roland's lips. He didn't necessarily agree - it was hard to think of Bert in those terms, if nothing else, given how they'd grown together - but it was still a funny thought. Even he had to acknowledge that. "I think we might all feel better for some space," he replied with a little nod, unconsciously mimicking her as he pushed his own hair back. "Did all go well with your errand?"

[gunslingerqueen]

"For the most part. I feel quite sick and like I need a nap. Specifically to nap on you, but I'll survive until we make it back." This only meant that Nariko did not feel terrible enough to actually crawl onto Roland's lap in public and sleep, and it did count for something. If the pain had been unbearable she might have just leant on him and closed her eyes, forsaking any concerns over public displays.

Kaine finally looked over at them. "Is this enough?" Considering that she had apparently gotten enough for ten people, not five, Nariko felt safe in replying for them all.

"More than enough. Why don't you go visit the sheep?" She looked over at Bert and added, "You and Bert. Unless someone actually wants to buy new clothes? We don't need four people to carry everything and get lunch."

She was not a very subtle mother, never had been! Maybe if they had a few minutes to themselves they could manage to be vaguely amicable. And Nariko could get in at least a half-decent kiss with her husband without feeling terrible about it. A sort of trade off for avoiding the nap.

[askthelookout]

"That depends," Cuthbert all but drawled. "Are there clothes I can wear that aren't stiff with blood and don't have my friend's brains spattered down one side? You may call me a traditionalist, but I do rather prefer that in my clothing."

Roland looked him up and down, then shrugged one shoulder. There was a pain in the draw of his jaw and the set of his mouth, but it was very well-hidden. "There are clothes back at the house that will fit you well enough to last while those are washing. As I believe I told you this morning."

"Well, then." Putting down the shirt he was looking at, Cuthbert smiled with a sharp kind of brightness, and said sardonically, "If Mama and Papa are in agreement, what can I do but obey? Don't do anything I wouldn't do," he added to Roland with a wag of his finger, heading over to Kaine.

He really did have very good hearing.

[apassingafternoon]

Nariko restrained herself from snapping. She possessed a far thicker skin than Kaine, and knew better than to put much care into Bert hearing her. She wouldn't have needed to say it if the both of them could be even marginally reasonable. And, yes, they were all just kids masquerading as full grown adults but Roland suffered just as thoroughly as Nariko. The lack of empathy wasn't going to win Bert what he wanted so he could take his negative reaction and shove it for all Nariko cared. If not for Roland and the irritation t would have caused him she might have said something but Bert got off with nothing more than a roll of her eyes.

Kaine looked over her shoulder as Bert neared and, for a moment, looked ready to say something. Whatever it might have been was pushed off with a little sigh, and she motioned to the little spot just across the bridge. The kids had been freed of their lessons and we're playing near the grazing animals. To the left there was a tree with generous shade and that was what she motioned towards.

"I know it wasn't entirely for me, but thank you." It wasn't what was really on her mind but it would do for now.

[askthelookout]

He shrugged, giving her a little smile, and walked on in uncharacteristic quiet for several moments more, hands deep in his pockets, before saying in a low voice, "...It really hurt you, didn't it? What I said to you last night."

It sounded disingenuous - was disingenuous - but he hadn't thought it would have hurt her so deeply. It wasn't the first time he'd misjudged, but he had a tendency to forget just how sharp his tongue could cut. Besides, he'd grown used to Jamie, Alain, and Roland - people whose emotions he could read as easily as his own, sometimes easier. She was different. And although he'd be lying if he'd said he hadn't meant to hurt her, in the harsh light of day he felt like an absolute ass.

[apassingafternoon]

In those several minutes they reached the tree and Kaine sat herself down, leaning into the slightly jagged edge of the mountains that half encased Arpagio. She breathed out and released most of her frustration. Apparently it was to make room for his question. Kaine looked up at him, eyes deadpan before she shook her head, as if deciding it wasn't even worth the effort of the look. "It didn't hurt when I thought you were only saying it because you were upset and lashing out. It hurt when you said that it was what you really believed."

But that doesn't make it lying. "It's fine. I'm not very good at any of this. I should have just left you alone this whole time." Because that was always what he wanted, even back in Gilead. He didn't want anyone to see him be upset, didn't want to be held or looked after, but Kaine had never listened. She kept pushing at him so was it any real surprise that she had come off as desperate? "So, I'm sorry for being such a pain in the ass." Kaine tried to smile, but it felt wobbly and uncertain. "But soon you'll go back home, and everything will work itself out. Hopefully, anyway."

[askthelookout]

Bert didn't sit down, electing instead to lean his back up against the tree, one foot against its trunk and his thumbs tucked in his gunbelts. Again, there was that unfamiliar moment's quiet. He wasn't one to think things through before he said them, but on this occasion...

Looking up at the sky, awkward with the need to say things so vulnerable and teenaged, he cleared his throat a couple of times. "It," he started, then pulled a face, scraped his hair back off his face, and started again. "I did really believe it. But only because I was pissy and I wanted to be left alone. Or at least for it to be Ro' or Al. Someone I could lay out flat and not feel like shit for doing it." Pinching the bridge of his nose, he looked down at her. "You're just about the only person around here at the moment who I don't want to kick in the kneecaps. Ro's an ass, Al's an idiot, Nariko took our dinh, and I'm a total dumbfuck who spoils everything he touches. And it doesn't sound like you're planning on coming back with us, and I don't blame you, but fuck, if you left, I'd have to miss you. And I'm sick of missing people."

He pulled a face, looking away again. "Look, what I'm trying to say is I cry your pardon. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't true either. I like you. I like having you around. Plus, you saved my life and Al's, and that's not nothing." With another grimace, he added quickly, "Don't tell anyone I've got feelings. Got a reputation to maintain."

[apassingafternoon]

"Everyone knows you have feelings, Bert. In fact that's basically the one thing that all of us can agree on and probably why no one has attempted to punch you." After going through the process of saying it all Kaine realized that, well, he probably wasn't so serious about that part. Anyway. Kaine looked up at him once, but then turned her eyes back to the grass between her legs. He said he liked her and despite the reserved expression she wore the words had slid under her skin. He liked her. So at least they could keep being friends. It made her much happier than it should have in a decidedly not platonic manner, but she would keep that to herself. That was only fair.

"It's okay, I really forgive you. Or whatever the proper response to that phrase is supposed to be." Her smile appeared briefly even though she hadn't been trying to joke, it just felt as if there was enough room in her for that, now.

"... I should have asked them to get me the noodles." Because she wasn't touching the 'not going back' topic specifically because Bert wouldn't poke it, either, and that was probably for the best.

[askthelookout]

"If I knew what noodles were, I might offer an opinion on the matter." And he was back to himself, cheery and bright and not a little sardonic. After a moment's consideration, he flopped down next to her, giving her a friendly smile. "I've got a lot to learn, obviously. Now you get to be the one who knows everything. Home at last."

[apassingafternoon]

"I guess, but as you can probably see this isn't exactly the most interesting place. Farcade is a little cooler if only because people tend to wear less clothing there, otherwise the differences aren't really all that meaningful." As if seeking to prove her utterly wrong about everything there was a loud, shrieking cry. Kaine turned her eyes from him and up towards the sound of flapping wings.

There was an especially upset looking Wrangler (which was truly saying something as most all of them looked angrily) being manhandled up into the air, a crate attached to it's sturdy midsection as it attempted to smack into the mountain a ways off from them. There was a very brave, older woman cursing at it. Most everyone observed this with awareness, but no one screamed or ran off, they relaxed when the Wrangler passed but appeared ready to bolt if something went wrong.

"Alright, maybe it's a little different." But mostly just because of the insane, ornery beasts that they all had to deal with. "And you and Alain managed to avoid a terrifying, cannibal blood pact, so that was fun. Even if you didn't know about it."

[askthelookout]

Cuthbert, whose hands had gone automatically to his guns, relaxed away from them with a slightly sheepish little laugh. "You mean I had the chance for a perfectly good terrifying blood pact, and I let it slip? Damn. I miss all the fun." He looked up at the Wrangler, pulling a face. The closest he'd come to anything like that before was in children's stories and old songs. Seeing it in front of him was, at the same time, fascinating and like a kick in the chest. Might as well put up a big sign saying Nothing is as it was.

Shaking off the thought as best he could, he looked over to Kaine again. "So, about this cannibal blood pact," he said, lightly. "Any chance I can persuade Alain to go back and take it? Because you have to admit, the look on his face would be priceless."

[apassingafternoon]

"No," She laughed dryly, "I know she isn't your favorite person but if either of us lets it slip that Trish was even near the both of you, she'll probably burn Mystic down and laugh while doing it. I'm not as against that as I should be, but Aelious needs the medicine they have, so ..." She tilted her head and shrugged at that, as if it thoroughly made up for the terrifying things that clearly went on there.

"We can, however, tell him what he missed, that might be half as priceless?" At least she was willing to sort of play along here! "Leaving you both there scared the shit out of me. The last time I let them near anyone I cared about, my grandma died."

[askthelookout]

"We've dealt with worse," Bert said carelessly, waving a hand. "Skin-men, demons, wizards... Roland with a headache..." But underneath that irreverence there was a current of something that was almost apology, and almost gratitude. It was always rather reassuring to know that people worried about you, even if you hated it and wished they wouldn't.

"So!" He clapped his hands together, grinning. "Cannibals. Giant birds. Nariko's ex-lovers. Anything else we should be on the lookout for, oh all-knowing guide?"

[apassingafternoon]

"Aw, come on, Wei shouldn't be on that list! He's actually not that bad." Of course it completely escaped her that Bert might just be talking about Christian. "The reptiles near Farcade are poisonous, and they leap, so if the three of you weren't gunslingers I'd be worried about bringing you there. Also, there's a five joke maximum in that city so you might want to get the majority of it out of your system before we head off."

Despite the smile on her face, Kaine wasn't joking. Before they could get too far Kaine tilted her head up and then looked over. No one had been joking about lunch. There were various meal buns, three styrofoam bowls that Kaine knew very well, and equally familiar glass blows piled with ice cream.

"Oh my god," Kaine's eyes widened and if she didn't think to close her mouth soon she was likely to begin drooling. "It's all so beautiful!"

[askthelookout]

Cuthbert, meanwhile, was looking at the food extremely askance. "Is any of this food? Those, I guess." Pointing at the buns. "Ro'? What the hell's all this?" Apparently, on this occasion, he was just curious enough for it to outweigh his lingering resentment.

Roland shrugged expressively, handing over one of the buns. "I'm trusting Nariko on this," he informed Bert, and raised one eyebrow.

Bert laughed. What the joke was, even he might have struggled to articulate, wrapped up as it was in all the threads of past associations and tone and expression, but something about the odd inflection of Roland's voice and the resigned little twitch of that hard mouth just... tickled him. So he laughed, and a little of that shadow between them melted away as he took the bun. "So long as there's enough of it," he decided out loud. "I'm starving."

[apassingafternoon]

"There'll be enough if you move quickly enough," Nariko warned, and then added, "Maybe don't sit too close to Kaine."

Kaine herself heard nothing at all. She waited, all but vibrating in place, anxious for the very instant Nariko would set everything down. That happened, of course, and two of the bowls went to Kaine, one quickly snatched and put off to the side farthest away from everyone else. The other had its lid ripped off viciously, and Nariko was smart enough to leave the fork on the ground lest she draw back a stump of an arm. The steam soup that held numerous, rich, brown noodles was devoured near instantly. Kaine only paused to sip at the heavy, almost gravy-like broth, her moan far too indulgent and even dark to sound entirely innocent to anyone who didn't know her well.

And Nariko supposed that, when it came to her friends appetite, neither Roland or Cuthbert knew how utterly obsessed Kaine was with her meals. Picking up the fork Kaine twirled up a large bundle of the dark pasta, gathering bits of meat and vegetables along the way, and shoved all of it into her mouth with the grace of a ravenous, angry yak. Her teeth even clicked before she got to chewing, cheeks puffed out but an expression of pure, joyous bliss was in her eyes.

Nariko observed it all very evenly.

"So," She looked at Cuthbert. "The buns have meat and vegetables, and they're aptly called Lunch Buns. They're very inventive with names around here." They weren't, but when you had to deal with multiple people from multiple words maybe simplicity was the best policy. "What Kaine is eating? Those are Seaweed noodles, hers are meat, the other one - assuming any of us gets to it before her - has sea food. There's also ice-cream, which is cold, delicious, and tastes like strawberries. And also like a mang-o, that's the orange one, and it's mine so try not to eat it all, please."

Meanwhile, Kaine gulped down the last little morsel of broth and then licked the bowl for good measure before she tossed it away.

"Oh man! That! That is what being home feels like!"

[askthelookout]

He would never, not in a thousand years, have admitted how that made him ache. It wasn't Kaine's fault, and she had every right to be glad at being back, but her declaration about home only kicked Cuthbert in the gut, stronger than ever, with the realisation that he was never going to be home again. His eyebrows drawing together for a moment, he hid his feelings fairly efficiently by wolfing down half the bun at once.

It was, he had to admit, very good. And he was, he was just realising, very hungry. It wasn't quite enough to dull that unfortunately-awoken pain of loss, but it was a start. With his mouth still half-full, he reached out at random, picking up one of the glass bowls. He swallowed, licked his fingers, and took a mouthful of ice-cream.

His eyes actually bulged a little, and when he took another spoonful, it was with the experimental air of someone who can't quite believe he didn't make it up the first time. "Holy shit," he said after a moment, and held the bowl out to Roland. "Ro'. Ro', you have to try this. It's so sweet." Which was the rather more coherent version of the clamouring sweetsweetsweet echoing around his skull. He'd never tasted anything with that kind of sweetness to it.

[apassingafternoon]

The cause of Bert's pain didn't notice a single thing and, really, better that she didn't. Kaine's home was eating these same meals with her grandmother as a child, and with Nariko as a teenager. Home wasn't a place or arrangement of buildings, it was the people she was with, and a certain kind of nostalgia that only food could activate. But saying all of that would have only made it worse.

Both girls smiled at Bert's revelation, as well as his desire to share it with Roland. Nariko left them to it for some extra moments, but she couldn't avoid the question any longer.

"So, I imagine all of that went about the only way it could," Farson moving in right after the Claude debacle. Whether it was a planned affair, or they saw an opportunity hardly mattered to Nariko. "But why did you come back a mess? And how for that matter?"

Kaine, who had dreaded this topic all day, was at least moderately prepared to handle it now. She wiped her mouth with the back of her arm (or would have, if Nariko hadn't stopped her and offered a napkin) and then explained as quickly as possible. "Because I saw the black scrawl on Bert and Alain, it disappeared after I did that," Here she made a twirling motion with her finger. This was somehow meant to explain the howling mode of fighting that she had put to use.

"But without your song I wasn't nearly as strong. You know it took me five minutes to get through three hundred? I counted, and it was bullshit. My body gave out and I died again. Before, I told Alain to take Bert and Jamie and run if it came to that but he brought us here with Maggie's book. At least, that's what I'm assuming what happened. I've only ever felt that weird electricity once before and it was back when you ..." Kaine trailed off, and shook her head. "For a second I thought I actually died for good, but then we woke up in Mystic and everyone was angry at each other, Elder Johnson tried to eat Bert, and Trish tried to have sex with Alain. Because she's a disgusting and horrible bitch."

And that's what happened according to Kaine.