apassingafternoon: (so silent no violence)
[personal profile] apassingafternoon
To graduate from utter silence to the constant roar of Gilead was something else. Though she had been here for over a week now, and would stay for much longer, Kaine was not used to the constant noise. Even at night it felt as if she could hear every shuffle of bodies in sheets and night clothes, every fuck whether positive or not, and all those conversations that were never suited for daylight. It all made sleeping outside difficult, but even lying beside Nariko didn't make it any easier to deal with the walls all around her. They were suffocating. At night and in the day, they threatened to drive Kaine out of her mind.

So she took to wandering around because there wasn't fuck else to do around here, not for her.

Which might have explained catching sight of him towards an edge, around a corner. The specifics weren't relevant, that Kaine saw Bert and spun on her worn down heel and followed him was relevant. It should have also been worrying for her, this unnatural and constant fascination that was tempered by the occasional bout of good sense felt odd. It was a ... Not a problem, but not exactly good. Crushes on men that you hardly knew, that hid the way Cuthbert did, that never let her finish talking the way Cuthbert did couldn't end well.

She followed anyway, and not with any real ounce of subtlety or control. Eventually one of them would have to say something and in her own way she knew he might take that responsibility first. So she followed, and even if Kaine happened to be wrong he was pretty interesting to stare at anyway. Maybe it was the hair.

Date: 2015-02-19 10:52 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (Well what can I say)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
Cuthbert laughed, openly and without malice. "And you have the gall to accuse me of not giving myself enough credit? If you want to put it that way, you don't have a leg to stand on when you say Hambry wasn't Roland's story. By the sounds of it, you did one hell of a lot more to set yours in motion - all I did was get us all framed for murder, if you'll recall."

Smirking, he leaned over and punched her very lightly on the arm. "Either we're both important, or neither of us are. Either way, it sounds like we've both had it easier than the people we're following, so let's be maybe-heroes together, hey?"

Date: 2015-02-19 11:33 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (A bright new day)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
So far as Bert was concerned, it didn't matter why she was smiling. She was, and that was victory enough. He smiled back, grinning from ear to ear, and hopped to his feet. "It's getting dark," he observed, stretching. "And I'm getting a mite hungry. Shall we head in for something to eat?"

Date: 2015-02-20 12:07 am (UTC)
askthelookout: (Catching the sunlight)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
"Some things happen quickly. Some things happen slow." Cuthbert shrugged. "Things are growing soft around the edges, whatever that means. But it's never been so hard they won't let you cook. At least, not if I make puppy-dog eyes at them." He grinned again, shaking his hair back. "When we were little, I always used to beg all the best sweets off them that way. And then I used them to bribe the rest of our class not to tell Cort when I was making faces behind his back." His laugh was rather rueful. "It didn't work. I swear that man had eyes in the back of his skull."

A personal story for a personal story. That was fair, right?

Date: 2015-02-20 03:48 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (A bright new day)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
"Probably not," Cuthbert said cheerily. "I was a little shit. I kept getting Ro' and Al in trouble, too. Mostly Ro'. Boy never could back down from a dare." He smiled, rather nostalgically. His own childhood had, for the most part, been idyllic, which only made it harder to look back on. "Once, I persuaded him it would be a great idea to sneak around in the crypts. Alain was too scared, but to be honest, he won on that one. We got caught, and that's the story of how I lost two baby teeth from getting my ears boxed so hard."

He laughed, sticking his hands in his pockets, and started up the hill towards the main building. "Didn't teach me my lesson, though. By the time we got our guns, I'm pretty sure Cort had given up on beating any kind of sense into me."

Date: 2015-02-20 08:19 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (I'm making this very simple)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
"I try." He bowed comically, without missing a stride. "Alain's the sensible one to talk to, Jamie's the harsh one, Roland's the honest one. Someone has to be the easy one. Although," he added, after a moment's thought, "if you're not thinking about punching me in the face, you're in the minority."

That wasn't to say he wasn't glad to hear it. Part of him wanted to refute what she'd said about him only learning lessons when he felt like it, though. That dark, sullen part of him wanted to take her aside and explain that there were some lessons you couldn't help learning, lessons that drove their way deep into you and wove into your life, lessons he had learnt the hard way. That if he chose not to learn other lessons, it was only because the weight of the hard lessons was enough already, and sometimes the best way to move on was to refuse to do what was expected.

Part of him wanted to say that. But part of him thought she might know already, and if she didn't... well, then it was better for it to stay that way.

Instead, smiling, he shook his head. "As for the crypt... there's been a city here since the time of the Eld. He's down there himself, somewhere, although we never found him before we got caught. We've had to put our dead somewhere - wouldn't it be more surprising if we didn't?"

Date: 2015-02-20 09:02 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (Caught off-guard)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
He was quiet for a moment. When he did speak again, it was thoughtful: "I guess maybe that's why. Here, we..." He shrugged, lapsing into silence for another moment before continuing. "They're our fathers, and our fathers' fathers. Arthur Eld, and all his knights. All the gunslingers of our past. Maybe that's a shadow we want to keep with us."

For a moment, he looked pensive, as if he was mulling it over, and then he pulled a face. "Well, I don't know. I leave ghosts and beliefs to Roland and Alain. All I know is, there's been plenty of times since my father died that I've been glad to have him near. And sometimes I've found myself down there, when I've been in need of his guidance."

He shrugged one shoulder, looking rather embarrassed. He didn't make a habit of talking about things like that. More people knew about how he took flowers to his mother's grave, and even that was awkward enough. Telling anyone outside his tet about his trips into the crypt... well, if they were swapping personal stories, that definitely qualified.

"I guess when we move away, we like having something to come back to."

Date: 2015-02-20 09:43 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (Watching from the shadows)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
If he'd been Alain, he would have known what to do with that silence. If he'd been Roland, it would probably have passed him by entirely. Unfortunately, Cuthbert was neither of those people, and so he saw that he'd upset her, without having any idea how to help. He settled for touching her arm, feeling profoundly clumsy, and giving her a sympathetic kind of smile. "You alright?"

Date: 2015-02-20 10:34 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (Lonesome inside)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
"Hey." He stopped, taking her arm, and frowned deeply at her. "You're allowed to be emotional. One of the perks of being a woman, as I understand it. But, look, alright... I'm not Roland, I can't say this the way he does, but I'll try." He took a deep breath, letting go of her sleeve. "We're all shaped by them. That's what it means to remember the face of your father. As long as you do what's right by those who loved you, do your best to make them proud, they're always a part of you and what you do. You're still shaped by them. You don't have to know them to be shaped by them."

He wrinkled his nose, looking profoundly frustrated with himself. "Told you I couldn't explain it like Ro'. Took me until a couple of years ago even to figure out that forgetting the face of your father wasn't just some bullshit catechism."

Date: 2015-02-20 10:57 pm (UTC)
askthelookout: (Firelit evening)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
"You underestimate Roland's ability to explain," Cuthbert said gravely, but there was laughter dancing in his eyes again. "And his ability to get so wrapped up in honour and ka and the face of his father that he forgets little things like eating and sleeping. If you want care and kindness, he's not your man. If you want an hour-long lecture about how it's all meant to be, well..." He tilted his hand to and fro, laughing. "If he'd ever opened his mouth in philosophy lessons, I think he would have been Vannay's favourite. Come on, you owe me a cheese and chicken paneen."

Because when in doubt, the best thing to do was to distract.

Date: 2015-02-21 12:39 am (UTC)
askthelookout: (Catching the sunlight)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
"Pah-nee-nee," Cuthbert repeated with exaggerated care, and snorted. "Better?" He, of course, had no trouble finding the kitchens - not only had he lived here his whole life, but, as he'd mentioned, they had been a favourite haunt of his as a child. He still rather liked them, in a nostalgic kind of way that had nothing to do with food and everything to do with childhood. He breathed in deeply as they approached, smelling the spices and freshly-baked bread. It smelled like home.

Date: 2015-02-21 02:32 am (UTC)
askthelookout: (Firelit evening)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
"Yes, sai," Cuthbert said with exaggerated meekness, and hunkered down by the door with a grin, waving to one of the cooks. "Hile, Anis. Smells like miracles and magic in here."

Anis, a young woman of about his age, blushed openly and obviously, much to Bert's apparent amusement. Smirking, he settled back against the wall, draping his hands over his knees, and watched Kaine with some interest. He wasn't much of a cook himself - he could skin a rabbit and roast a bird if it came to it, but not much beyond that - so he was genuinely interested.
askthelookout: (A dangerous smile)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
Cuthbert bit back his amusement. It was cruel to find that funny, and he knew it. It wasn't even as if he'd set out to flirt, exactly - it was just very hard to resist teasing Anis, when she made it so easy. He'd made the mistake of forgetting who he was with, in part because they'd fallen into conversation so easily for a while there. So he did have the decency to feel bad.

At the same time, though, it was funny, and he couldn't quite hide the little twitch of a smile.

:D

Date: 2015-02-21 03:43 am (UTC)
askthelookout: (A bright new day)
From: [personal profile] askthelookout
Bert looked down at the plate, smiling and very carefully not acknowledging the daggers Anis was staring at Kaine's back. "Looks plenty good to me," he observed, with a little shrug, and wiped his hands on his jeans before digging in. And that was a pretty appropriate term for it, given the gusto with which he ate. Halfway through, he stopped, looking a little guilty, and wiped his mouth on his sleeve. "...I should probably have checked. Are we sharing this?"

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-21 04:43 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-21 05:45 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-21 05:30 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-21 11:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 12:15 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 12:58 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 01:25 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 01:54 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 03:09 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 04:02 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 04:31 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 05:20 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 07:44 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 08:39 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 10:32 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-22 11:21 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-23 12:15 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-23 01:41 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-23 03:05 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-23 04:20 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-23 06:01 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-23 11:04 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-24 01:22 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-24 05:17 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-24 10:06 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-24 11:11 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-25 01:57 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-25 02:54 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-25 08:10 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-25 09:36 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-25 10:59 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-26 06:15 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-26 08:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-26 09:24 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-26 09:50 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-26 10:36 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-26 11:27 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-26 11:59 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-27 01:54 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-27 03:03 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-27 10:11 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-27 06:21 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-27 10:13 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-28 12:11 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-28 01:26 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-28 04:15 am (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [personal profile] askthelookout - Date: 2015-02-28 06:09 pm (UTC) - Expand

Profile

apassingafternoon: (Default)
kαıηє {нคяd тσ Ъε รσƒт, тσugн тσ Ъε тεหdεя}

February 2016

S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
28 29     

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jun. 9th, 2025 09:21 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios