Bottle It Up

[apassingafternoon]

Kaine didn't see Nariko after she returned to the palace. There would have been something oddly poignant about sharing the entire experience, speaking a bit frankly about it, but Kaine wanted to hold it to herself for a little while longer. In the end that was for the best. Sekht and Fyra's wedding was held in the morning and they all stood for it and then danced for it. Everything should have been goddamn peachy. There was no more pressure or tension in her general atmosphere, just the understandable, acceptable level of regret and acceptance. Kaine could deal with that.

What she couldn't fucking deal with was Nariko. Oh, sure, she smiled and clapped and when Sekht playfully asked her for a dance but every warning sign in the book was on full display. Her smile was hollow, her polite manner far too restrained. The natural ease that she'd found with Roland was nowhere to be found, in fact she seemed far too content with pretending he wasn't even anywhere near her. And maybe the obnoxious sleeves of her shirt - it was fucking insane that anyone could be unaffected by this heat - hid her left hand but Kaine saw the black chord around her neck and in that voiceless, deep way she had always possessed when it came to Nariko, Kaine knew that the other woman's wedding ring was hiding underneath her clothes.

This was some bullshit and Kaine, free of her nervousness and caution, was real fucking tired of pussyfooting around here.

So the wedding party continued but Kaine wasn't around to enjoy the latter half of it. She had dragged Nariko off and then returned alone.

Livid didn't begin to describe how she felt. But she made her way over to Bert anyway, jaw clenched tight and her arms folded even tighter.

"I need you to do something for me."

Comments

roland you're a butt

[toweredingly]

That was a poor choice of words. It wouldn't have been so bad, except that Hambry was a wound too freshly reopened, too close to the conversation. Shiveens and side-wives... those weren't things he wanted to think about. Not in a conversation including Susan. Roland's eyes hardened. "She's no gilly. She ought to know that. Just as she ought to know that if I wanted to free her from our vows, I would. She told me herself that they were vows made to Gilead and the Eld, and both are gone."

[apassingafternoon]

It would have been a poor choice of words if Kaine hadn't meant to say them, or if they hadn't been right. Somewhere along the line she had crossed over from 'vaguely implying things' to 'taking the words right out of Nariko's head'. It was a little difficult to avoid when there was nothing to stop the constant flow of shared thoughts, but in hindsight she would end up paying for it later one way or another. Oh well.

"At least she didn't half-ass the dialogue." That might not have been a satisfying answer but it was all Kaine could think of for a second. "If you could somehow possess enough determination to show even a third of the passion she feels for you then I'd bet all the coin to my name that she wouldn't be able to repeat any of that with a straight goddamn face, Roland. You don't really know her but consider how well she might know you. Gods knows she stared at you longingly enough to have picked up a thing or two."

[toweredingly]

"If I showed a third of that passion..." Roland began, and cut himself off, his jaw working tautly under his skin. For a moment, he was quiet, then he said in a rather lower tone, "My passion has a tendency to get people killed. If you think she knows me, then she ought to know that. Just ask Susan."

And that was more than enough of that conversation for him. Pulling himself up to his full height, he turned on his heel, aiming to walk away and lose himself in the crowd for a while.

[apassingafternoon]

This man had more buttons than his wife and that was really saying a whole hell of a lot. Sighing Kaine turned on her heel and was fast enough to put herself in front of him, both hands held up guiltily.

"Look, that's not what I meant, alright? Affection would have been a better word, I was really just talking about an insanely romantic kiss, something along those lines. I'm sorry." And she meant it. For as hardheaded and pissy as Kaine had been she knew when to humble herself a little, and so her next words were laced with caution. "I just need to know one more thing if you can find it in you to do it." And he would probably understand why in just an extra second. "For both our sakes can you tell me exactly dangerous this 'Marten' man is?"

[toweredingly]

For a moment, Roland stood stock still, looking down at her, as if he had been entirely taken out of time, Then, slowly, he relaxed, little by little, back into being merely tense.

"If you are lucky, and he takes no interest in you," he said, his voice low, "he may only be deadly." There's a tension under the level tone which belies just how much he does not want to talk about this. "I was... unlucky. And one day, he will pay for that. But now, in public? I will not speak of it."

[apassingafternoon]

It hardly surprised her that he had levels of tension. The 'Oh, shit' level was far worse than his usual 'everything is terrible' level. Even Kaine was a bit glad when he went back to normal. It was exhausting, being that tightly coiled all the time.

"Then it's an even better idea that she stays here, Roland. Let her be with Wei instead of you or I." Even though that was unfair, even though Kaine had never asked for anything but to keep the people who made her happy. Now she was having to let go of one because of this man. But she had rung him through the paces enough, so she nodded. "Try not to get into any more trouble, maybe."

Maybe it was time for her to check on Nariko again. If Kaine was lucky her friend might have softened up after getting a bit of attention.