"That is the part that really gets under my skin. I don't think there's really any such thing as just having him and that does make me a little sad, in a way," Here she made a flippant hang gesture, she didn't want to get into that because it was her own issue. Marriage, for her, had always been about two people. Not two people and who those two also fucked on the side. "But there was a moment - it was actually between you and I, it didn't really have much to do with Roland. - that I realized no one was ever really going to outdo you. There was no such thing as separating you and Roland and, you know, that's okay. Every time I would ask about you he was almost a different person and that was great. I loved it."

As if suddenly realizing the possible gravity of what she had said Nariko paused, and looked up at the ceiling. "But with Susan, I can't see myself not wondering if she's better, if I'm just an afterthought or something. And yet I don't worry about that with you, and I have no idea why."

Granted, Nariko still didn't understand that Roland and Bert actually had sex, so there was a piece missing here and there but the idea was about the same.